that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize