so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
