The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
