i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
