K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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