Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
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I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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