I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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