I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Even my vagina gasped.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
