Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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