Are we in a gay sports bar?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i will never coherently bang her
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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