No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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