i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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