me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
