Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
