ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
