So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
