My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize