The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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