How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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