No stitches, just platelets and will power
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
