So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
