Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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