I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
