Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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