My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
