I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
