So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
