Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
