If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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