I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His hands were made for my vagina.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
