so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
