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Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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