Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She can rap better than you any day

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  (989): Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend! (248): She can rap better than you any day http://tfl.nu/bu9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2353) Bad night (716)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

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  (702): Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks. http://tfl.nu/8gmt
  Replies (40) Good night (771) Bad night (3392) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  At what point did we cease to have vaginas?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.

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  (970): At what point did we cease to have vaginas? (720): Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year. http://tfl.nu/ox7z
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (1646)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (469): you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted. http://tfl.nu/d3cr
  Replies (12) Good night (5104) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.

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  (515): Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him. http://tfl.nu/tve9
  Replies (14) Good night (5538) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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  (217): Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights http://tfl.nu/27p8
  Replies (21) Good night (2976) Bad night (2347) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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  (630): I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate. http://tfl.nu/tob7
  Replies (18) Good night (5284) Bad night (1783)
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  (818): View more from California

  I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.

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  (818): I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine. http://tfl.nu/w2qh
  Replies (15) Good night (1011) Bad night (3170) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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  (813): For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club. http://tfl.nu/n6ph
  Replies (18) Good night (538) Bad night (1413) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!

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  (561): This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED! http://tfl.nu/seat
  Replies (12) Good night (2089) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.

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  (636): Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk. http://tfl.nu/yiv2
  Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.

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  (720): Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober. http://tfl.nu/o1fz
  Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market

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  (484): cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market http://tfl.nu/r2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (570) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.

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  (607): There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor. http://tfl.nu/j4bf
  Replies (13) Good night (2359) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane

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  (509): Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane http://tfl.nu/c9oo
  Replies (12) Good night (745) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt

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