I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
