Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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