Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
