these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
