your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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