what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
