His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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