My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
