I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
