I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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