Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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