Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
