I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
