your thong is hanging out like whoa
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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