is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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