Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize