You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We don't watch enough power rangers
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
