Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
