I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize