Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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