He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
