It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
