I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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