You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
