a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize