I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
